I’ve lived a whole damn life I kept my mission tight Send my message to the chief, say
I did good, I stayed out of the heat I did good, I kept it on track, yeah I was trained to stick to the mission I was trained, I kept it on track, yeah
Hey, look in the mirror Ain’t gonna right your wrong With a stupid love song
Nobody’s stopping you from taking 4 tablespoons of butter, melting it in a pot, and adding two tablespoons of minced garlic. Nobody’s stopping you from letting that garlic saute for like two minutes, or from then adding in two tablespoons of shaved parmesan. And nobody will stop you from stirring half a pound of al dented pasta into that buttery mess, cracking some pepper over it, and feasting on the garlicky spoils gained from such labours.
Nobody’s stopping you. The cops can’t even arrest you for it.
I think it’s an unrecognized practice to allow yourself to outgrow and shed versions of yourself that were more socially successful than who you want or need to be now. Not every new chapter is bigger and bolder and hotter, I think that’s a very modern social media “glow up” mindset and doesn’t actually have any room for what real transformation looks like. Sometimes we change exactly as we need to and it’s not what anyone else was hoping for and that’s part of it being important and true.
If you dare to believe in forever with somebody, you will always feel that sense of timelessness when you think back on your time with them. In that way, you do get to live out an eternity with them. I am pragmatic but I really do believe you have to let yourself do this, I have tears in my eyes while writing this but I promise it’s because it’s worth it
All good children’s fiction says you are going to have to shoulder responsibility even if you don’t want it.
And btw this isn’t a punishment or a condemnation, it’s a recognition that The Right Thing is a burden but you have to carry it anyway because it’s Right.
“Shasta’s heart fainted at these words for he felt he had no strength left. And he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward usually is to be set to do another and harder and better one.”
-C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy
This may sound grim, but “doing good is its own reward” is deeper than some realize. The reward of doing good is that GOOD EXISTS. When we accept the responsibility of doing good, a little more good enters the world (sometimes a lot) and a little more darkness is beaten back. Maybe by doing good you will save all of Archenland. Or maybe by doing good you will remind someone there is good in the world and refresh their dwindling hope. It may be hard, but is worth it.
